Sunshine in my pocket

Today we all actually laid in bed and watched a movie for the first time!! For those of you that don’t know I have a daughter who is 5 1/2 and a son that will be 3 in February. Tonight we watched Trolls. The movie was perfect! Its message was everything that I want the kids to believe in their heart.

trolls

Princess Poppy from Trolls says, “There is always a bright side.” A few months ago I have to admit that it would have been hard to  say those words and mean it. A few months ago I lost my spark… I lost my true colors. Looking back is a little harder than I expected it to be.

Before watching this movie multiple people told me how I reminded them of Princess Poppy.  They actually went as far as to say that Harold was Branch… lol! Princess Poppy is described as optimistic, intelligent, and all-around adorable.. After watching the movie I have to admit that they were pretty RIGHT ON!!

One of the most moving parts of the movie for me was when Princess Poppy looses her color because she is so sad. I distinctly remember feeling so depressed that nothing would make me feel happy. Not the kids, not Harold, not TV, not even music. I recall listening to the theme song from the movie “Can’t Stop the Feeling” by Justin Timberlake (Watch it here!.) That song would literally come on the radio and I would feel nothing inside of me.

This would probably be a good time to warn you that I am a pretty sensitive person! I feel many things and when I feel something it tends to be strong. Before the depression really sank in. that song could actually make me happy! I could be in a bad mood, play the song on the radio super loud, and then feel a little spark of JOY inside of me!! I’m not kidding. I can actually feel this kind of stuff!

Anyways, during the thick of the darkness I had no spark. The closest thing that I can describe it to is trying to light a lighter that just won’t turn on. I would see and hear all these things that I knew used to make me feel JOY but when I looked inside, there was nothing but darkness.

I remember thinking that there is no way that I could live my life without happiness. The thought of being depressed for the rest of my life was the little whisper of hope inside of me that knew that this was not the time to give up. And guess what… little by little I got out of that dark place… little by little I found my spark again. Today I am shining bright.

I will admit that there are days… well lets call them moments… there are moments when I feel the darkness. Its there.. its always there! Honestly you would be a fool to believe that it ever really goes away. The real trick is to be able to step back and realize that the magic we are all looking for is in the balance of life. There will always be ups and there will always be downs… you may twist and turn or even go fast or slow… there will always be light and love to fight darkness and hate. This is the beauty of life.

sunshine

Peace and love

Nancy

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